I’ve heard countless people talk about feeling more introverted having weathered the pandemic. And, I have to admit I’ve also felt the same. It’s common to hear people report they don’t find as much joy in eating out in a restaurant, being in large crowds, or traveling. Yet, these are all the things they previously enjoyed.
Have people become more fearful? Or is it that they have enjoyed living a slower-paced, more relaxed lifestyle? Have they experienced that all the details necessary to participate in these events sucks the life out of them? Maybe, as a result of the pandemic and the long and continuous time of uncertainty people have more closely examined their lives? Has it forced them to re-evaluate?
My hope is that the latter is the truest. This is a time in history in which re-evaluation seems absolutely necessary. Asking ourselves: Is my life more important than others? Have I been putting my work above my family, my relationships, and my relationship with myself? Is what I want to be doing at the moment necessary and helpful to the environment and to myself for that matter? Maybe you’ve been clinging to at least a portion of your extroversion as a distraction, diversion–or avoidance.
Here’s what one study has found: https://www.oracle.com/news/announcement/americans-report-a-change-in-personality-due-to-the-pandemic-2021-05-10/
Reflection vs. Avoidance
As a therapist, I have seen others utilize this time to make conscious decisions about how they want to live differently. They have entered therapy for the first time. They recognize that what is happening in the world is the most trying mental time in their lifetime. An overabundance of grief, loss, and uncertainty slaps them in the face. Numbing themselves to it isn’t working. Even some ultra-privileged have experienced that this very present pain is indiscriminate—just as is the virus. In short, they have continued to live their lives to the fullest–which often involves reflection and examination.
On the other hand, I have also seen the opposite: people struggling against what is inevitable in order to maintain their pre-pandemic lifestyle. Those who continue after all of this to place themselves in the center of the universe, vehemently deny that there is nothing they need to do to change while expecting those around them to accommodate, all in the service of the preservation of their lifestyle.
Avoidance and Pain
Avoidance is a seductive liar. People avoid because they are fearful. As a result, they create more fear. Allow the depth and length of this pandemic to be your teacher. “The avoidance of suffering IS suffering. The avoidance of struggle IS a struggle. The denial of failure IS a failure. Hiding what is shameful IS ITSELF a form of shame”. Mark Manson
