Is EMDR for you?

EMDR has been around for 35+ years,

and the research shows that EMDR works more quickly than talk therapy. It was originally developed for treating PSTD. In the past 35 years, counselors, psychologists, social workers, and researchers have developed various protocols that work to treat depression, anxiety, grief, childhood trauma, trauma from natural disasters, car accidents, and many more.

Complex trauma and attachment wounds.

Complex trauma is when a person has had multiple traumas and/or attachment wounds. Times of dissociation are more likely to occur with complex trauma. And complex trauma also takes more time to heal than a single incident trauma. So, when people ask me ‘how long will EMDR therapy take?’, I ask them:

‘How long has trauma been in your life?’

This is not to say that EMDR therapy will take the same amount of time as the trauma has been in your life. However, it does mean it will likely take longer to heal than a single incident trauma. And, even in cases of complex trauma, EMDR has proven to work more quickly than talk therapy alone.

When trauma or attachment wounds happen in childhood, it disrupts various aspects of development–most importantly the formation of the self. Trauma differs from attachment wounds and yet they both are traumatizing.

Trauma is when something bad happens to you.

Attachment wounds occur when a developmental need is not met.

A general lack of internal safety is created when trauma and/or attachment wounds happen in childrhood. This lack of internal safety interferes with a child’s ability to form a secure attachment with their caregiver. Trauma experiences AND not having your developmental needs met both create an insecure attachment. And, when trauma is left untreated, the relationship patterns that were built in childhood tend to be repeated in adult relationships. EMDR will help heal the pain of your past, so that it will stop showing up in your adult life.

As we work together using EMDR therapy,

you will learn tools to calm your nervous system. A larger bank of helpful resources gives you many choices of how to deal with life stressors. Clients use the tools learned in EMDR therapy in session AND also in their everyday lives. In fact, I strongly encourage all of my clients to practice using these tools in their daily lives. Practice helps integrate the tools into clients’ lives. Consequently, practicing over time is rewarded with a calm nervous system. A calm nervous system is invaluable. It helps people feel safe and have more clarity.

When you are in a calm state most of the time, then we will begin to observe and befriend the various parts of your personality. I use IFS informed EMDR. IFS stands for Internal Family Systems therapy and it helps the various parts of your personality to become integrated. You may have an ‘angry’ part, ‘hurt’ part, or a part ‘who had to act as parent when you were just a child’. These parts are with you, but they are not you. You are your true, authentic, higher self. Everyone has various parts of self and they are seperate from your true, authentic self. They are simply parts of your personality that developed as a way for you to cope with hard things as a toddler, child or teen.

Sometimes we find that you have become enmeshed with a part. You have a hard time seperating from this part and believe it ‘is’ you. Together, we look at this part using IFS. The process will help you to learn and understand the reason a part exists and how it works in your life. You will begin to see that these parts developed to help you in your childhood years. And, you’ll begin to realize that they aren’t always helpful to you as an adult. Simply gaining awareness, acceptance and compassion for these parts brings great relief. It also clears the way for you to begin processing your experiences.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

EMDR uses eye movements which replicate the Rapid Eye Movement that occurs naturally in the REM stages of sleep. REM’s purpose is to process emotions while you sleep. Rapid Eye Movement is one type of bi-lateral stimultion. BLS helps processing happen more quickly. One method a therapist can use to deliver bi-lateral stimulation is a light bar. It quickly moves a light from one end of the bar to the other while the client moves their eyes to follow.

Other methods are holding tappers in your hands. Tappers produce a pleasant buzzing sensation. BLS happens as these tappers alternate from left to right. Tappers can be syncronized and used along with the light bar, or by themselves. Manual forms of BLS also work. Some of these are alternating taps with your hands on the shoulders or knees. The benefit of manual methods is that they can easily be used in everyday life.

At its’ roots, EMDR is based upon neuroscience, and helps to re-wire the brain. Trauma is not only about memories, but also thoughts, emotions and sensory experiences. So, many of the experiences you had during the traumatic event can be felt in your body. People may develop unhelpful, illogical thoughts or beliefs about themselves. It’s possible that trauma may become ‘stuck’ in your body. Sometimes trauma shows up in sounds, and people will experience sounds that are similar to what they heard as the trauma happened. Years later, a touch or a smell may make you feel as if you are reliving the trauma. But, with the resolution of each particular trauma, that trauma will be wiped from your body. You will continue to remember the event. But, you won’t be triggered by or relive the memory.

What clients have said about EMDR:

“It has given me the confidence and self worth to accomplish my dreams in life.” “I am feeling true joy for the first time in my life.” “The heaviness that I have always felt in my chest is gone.” “I feel free to be my authentic self instead of struggling to fit into a mold designed for others.” “Setting healthy boundaries for myself is easier because when I speak, I do it with confidence.”” “For the first time in many years, I am now in the driver’s seat of my life.” “I feel SAFE–something I have not felt before.”