This is one question that most new clients ask: “How long will EMDR therapy take? You may be curious about this also, so read on! When they ask this question, first I tell them that it is a process, and that there is not a time limit on healing. Next, I will give you two examples of two real clients and the factors involved in each case. They are similar in some ways, yet, one of them had a process that took about 20 sessions, while the other had a process that took a year.
First, let’s look at the shorter process.
This client had some very difficult childhood trauma. He was abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. This abuse came from all directions. from his mother, his older sibling, and also his classmates in school. He was an easy target because his skin color was different from theirs. He internalized all of the ways people hurt him, and filed them under the beliefs they created inside: “I am not good enough”, “I am not am not accepted for who I am”, and “No one cares about me”.
His stories were heartbreaking to hear. But, who I saw sitting in front of me for 20 weeks didn’t seem to match any of the beliefs he expressed. In fact, I saw just the opposite. A kind, caring, smart, and attractive young man who outwardly had the world in the palm of his hand. But, inside of him was great turmoil.
He had several things going for him. He took charge of his life as soon as he could, after he graduated high school, and came to the United States. Finally he was free from the constant abuse and was accepted and his different skin color was embraced. He became successful at work and married the person he loved.
One of the things that contributed to moving quickly through EMDR was that he was very aware of his inner world, in so much as being able to identify his body sensations, emotions and thoughts very easily.
Being aware of his inner world helped his process.
Also, he was not under high levels of stress like he had been for his entire childhood. Lack of stress also helped him cognitively process a great deal of his traumaeven before he began therapy. A big event changed his life in ways he had never known it could. That’s when he began hearing those same negative voices from his childhood. Part of his trauma was left unresolved and it resurfaced in a time of high stress.
So he was headed for a successful experience with EMDR. He also worked hard to understand and practice the tools and resources he was learning in therapy. He engaged with these resources in between sessions. Each week, he would come to the next session with something he had learned about himself. He also applied this learning to his life whenever he could. That left his sessions mostly free for EMDR and processing.
Not everyone has time to do this work in-between sessions. But everyone can find enough time to practice throughout the day. The end result was that it helped to shorten the time he spent in therapy.
Next, the longer process.
The second example was that of a wonderful woman who was facing a divorce. She had been blindsided with this news, and began therapy immediately. She had a child, a mother in memory care and a large, successful business doing what she always wanted to do. The prospect of divorce shook her and fiercely committed to making changes for herself vs. making changes in order to save her marriage. Several of our first sessions were spent getting to a better place by processing her divorce. But, in the midst of this, she also practiced her resources every week-even when she was busy and suffering. They helped to alleviate her anxiety and even her pain.
There was a long history of trauma.
In childhood, she also had a long history of emotional and sexual abuse within her family. She was older than client 1 and all of her life was full of trauma. I knew that it would take her more time to work through everything because there was more to cover which she had never before processed .
Also, her work with EMDR was slowed several times by stresses in all areas of her life, including her husband wanting to get back together. And, during these times, she worked double time to use her resources. So, her times of stress were shortened. After the stress was more in the background, we returned to doing EMDR.
During EMDR she was able to work and remain calm.
What I saw in this client was a person who cared for herself. In caring for herself she was able to handle all of the stressors and remain calm. Of course, this took some time, but it brought her peace and helped her through the process. She even had an event where she was able to stand up to her molester after carrying years of fear and anger towards him.u She came into therapy having lost herself just as many women do in mothering. But she used adversity as a motivator to work hard. In the end, she both found and nurtured her authentic self.
Her list of events we had successfully processed was long. Each on had decreased in intensity. She began to think differently about each situation. EMDR also shifted her belief system and the troublesome body sensations she had became less intense. All in all, she was successful in accomplishing her goals in therapy. This required the investment of time, money, and work to get to know her inner self. The short answer is that there is no one answer to ‘How long will it take?” The answer depends on you, the amount and length of your trauma, and your willingness to push through the hard parts in order to heal.
